Managing our anger biblically requires us to recognize and admit our sinful anger and/or our wrong handling of anger as sin (Proverbs 28:13; 1 John 1:9). This confession of our sin should be to God and to those who we have offended by our anger. We should not minimize the sin by excusing it or shift blame to someone else.

Managing our anger biblically includes humbly seeking God in prayer, confession of sin and repentance. This is especially needful and even if people have provoked us, there is still no excuse to sin in anger. James 1:2-4, Romans 8:28-29, and Genesis 50:20 all point to the fact that God is sovereign over every circumstance and the person whom we meet. Though God may permit some bad things to happen in His good pleasure, He is always faithful to His covenant people to provide a way out for us. Our God is a gracious and merciful God and He will not always chide nor keep His anger after we repent (Psalms 145:8, 9, 17).

Managing our anger biblically requires a sincere and willing surrender of our rights and leaving things to the sovereignty of God and not take things in our own hands. This is especially important in cases of injustice when men may spread lies or incite us to anger by their actions or words of false statements or to provoke or exasperate us. Genesis 50:19 and Romans 12:19 both tell us we are not God and we should not try to be and take things into our own hands. God is righteous and just, and we can trust Him who knows all and sees all to act justly and manage our response prayerfully. (Genesis 18:25)

Strive to manage anger biblically by seeking to return good for evil (Genesis 50:21; Romans 12:21). We know it is not easy, but it is not impossible. This is key to converting our anger into actions of caution or outreach of love. As our actions flow from our cool heads and our hearts, we need to submit to the will of God. (Matthew 5:43-48) That is, we can change our feelings or actions toward another by changing how we choose to think, speak or act toward that person. Our witness and testimony for the Lord is at stake here.

Steps in the proper expression of anger

We can manage our anger biblically by communicating factually and objectively to the person to resolve the problem with a right tone and choice of words and not in a confronting or offensive manner. There are four basic rules of communication shared in Ephesians 4:15, 25-32:

1. Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25). People cannot read our minds. We must speak the truth but in a caring or loving manner and tone and not in a loud provocative manner. Think of the consequences of our anger; that we might regret it if we do not restrain ourselves.
2. Do not bring up old scores (Ephesians 4:26-27). We must not allow what is bothering us in the past to build up an angry emotion until we lose control. It is important to deal with the situation by restraint and sound reason before it reaches a boiling point of no return.
   
   
3. Address the issue to resolve it amicably and not to attack the person unfairly unless there is a sound cause for it (Ephesians 4:29, 31). We must remember the importance of keeping our voices and our tone down when we are angry and pray for wisdom for restraint and for temperance in our words and behavior. (Proverbs 15:1).
   
   
4. Act prudently and prayerfully, do not overreact emotionally or willfully. (Ephesians 4:31-32). Because of our fallen nature, our first impulse is often a sinful one without restraint (v. 31). Prayerfully consider and reflect upon the godly way to respond (v. 32) and to remind ourselves how our indignant response should be directed to solve problems and not create new or bigger ones. Above all, we do not want to offend God in our fury nor be a negative testimony to our children or loved ones.

We are to be careful with our thoughts, speech or actions that they do not build up unedifying emotions out of pride or resentment. (1 Corinthians 2:15-16; Matthew 10:16). Do we need to verbally fight with everyone and win against them all the time? (Matthew 7:6). Our desire to manage our anger can help us to develop greater patience and long suffering which can change our character and our testimony. We need to seek forgiveness from God if we fail in our emotional outburst and to forgive others when they offend us. We need to examine ourselves. Do not give Satan a foothold in your life and cause you to sin against God and man.

Conclusion

Finally, “a rage seldom comes from a sage” and we must strive to be at peace with all men (Romans 12:18). We cannot control how others act or respond, but we can be careful about our response. Managing a sinful temper is not easy but it is not impossible. It requires much temperance, prayer, Bible study, obedience, repentance of sins and reliance upon God’s Holy Spirit. Ungodly outburst anger can be prevented. By the help of the Spirit and much prayer, we should not allow anger to become entrenched in our lives by habitual practice, but let us strive to respond correctly and in an constructive manner that God is glorified and men edified in our proper response and action.

By Rev Jack Sin

(Expanded and edited from GotQuestions.org, on What does the Bible says about Anger. Read also Wayne Mack, Anger and Stress Management – God’s Way, 2007)

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