(Validating and Illustrating the Gospel in Weddings)

By Albert N. Martin (Copyright 2012 Chapel Library)

When a godly engaged couple sits down with one of their pastors to plan their wedding service and tells him that their shared passion is to have a wedding service that in every facet of its constitution will bring as much glory to Christ as is humanly possible and judicious [I use the word judicious to underscore the fact that some very zealous Christian couples, knowing that many unconverted people will be present at their wedding, would desire their pastors to bring a 40 or 50 minute evangelistic sermon. To comply with such a request would be a violation of our Lord’s words that we are to be “wise as serpents, and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16). It would constitute a violation of the words of the apostle Paul “let not then your good be evil spoken of” (Romans 14:16). Furthermore, to comply with such a request would be a violation of biblical love that “does not behave itself unseemly” (1 Corinthians 13:5)].

Dare we call this passion legalistic? When they further indicate that they desire to plan a reception that will in no way cause stumbling to fellow believers or grieve the hearts of the people of God and that will also provide opportunities for a gracious verbal witness to their faith in Christ, dare we call this tangible expression of that godly love that “seeks not its own” and “that works no ill to one’s neighbor” a manifestation of legalism? (See 1 Corinthians 13:5; Romans 13:10). Key passages in the New Testament that address the subject of Christian liberty emphasize again and again that our so-called liberties must never be exercised at the expense of that “love which works no ill to one’s neighbor” or at the expense of compromising an opportunity for a clear gospel witness (see 1 Corinthians 9).

Pastors are commanded to insist upon behavior in the house of God that conforms to apostolic directives (1 Timothy 3:14-15). Included in those directives is the injunction of 1 Timothy 2:9-10 relative to modesty. Furthermore, Paul commanded Titus to give instructions to the people of God to the end that they may “adorn the doctrine of God in all things.” We live in a culture that has greatly seared the collective conscience of the populace concerning the divine institution of marriage, specifically assigned roles within marriage, modesty of dress, and propriety of language. Therefore, pastors have a responsibility and sacred privilege to help inform and shape the consciences of their people by careful and responsible exposition of the relevant portions of the Word of God that apply to these things. Then they should seek to make specific, judicious, and warranted applications of such exposition when working with a Christian couple in the planning of their wedding service. God-breathed Scripture has not only been given to us for doctrine (teaching), but also for “reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).

We recognize that there is a rich variety of legitimate cultural and ecclesiastical traditions connected with Christian weddings. For this reason, it would be wrong to produce a liturgy for a Christian wedding and to present it as a “one-size-fits-all” document. Certainly those traditions that do not in any way violate or ignore scriptural norms can be incorporated into one’s wedding service and become the channels by which the triune God and His truth are clearly manifested in all that is said and done in a thoroughly Christian wedding…

To the church leaders who may read these pages, I ask you these questions: Will you use all of your God-given influence to guide couples in planning weddings that are indeed uncompromised validations and illustrations of the gospel? Will you manifest the gracious but strong moral courage to refuse to officiate at a wedding where anything that is seen, heard, or done in any way denigrates or compromises the truth of God, the glory of Christ, and the practical implications of the gospel? You and the couple to be married have this one unique and glorious opportunity clearly to demonstrate in a countercultural way the following truths: the blessedness of the institution of marriage; the divine directives for a happy and fulfilling marriage; the irrevocable nature of the marriage covenant; and the blessing of the prospect of children as the fruit of their union. In so doing, you are rendering loving obedience to the command of the Lord Jesus to “let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

[I hope that you have enjoyed reading Albert N Martin’s godly exhortations and guidance of Christian wedding. The followings are exemplary forms the church can use for future weddings in church.]

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